Monday, March 3, 2008

I Kissed Dating Goodbye....

Have you all heard of this? It was new to my ears. This guy wrote a book with this title a while back now, and got heated responses. Despite its sometimes lofty use of protestant lingo, this book has some points worth noting. It has helped me relate concrete means and reasons, for the right kind of dating to my high-school RC team. He has some concepts that really lit some lightbulbs for me.....

http://www.joshharris.com/i_kissed_dating_goodbye.php

IE: "The Seven Habits of Highly Defective Dating"

The titles and subtitles alone got my attention:

1. Dating tends to skip the friendship stage of a relationship
2.Dating Often Mistakes a Physical Relationship for Love
3. Dating Often Isolates a Couple From other Vital Relationships
4. Dating can Distract Young Adults From their Primary Responsiblity of Preparing for the Future.
5. Dating Can Cause Discontentment with God's Gift of Singleness
6. Dating Can Create an Artificial Environment for Evaluating Another Person's Character
7. Dating Often Becomes an End in Itself

2 comments:

Liza said...

Hmmmm...I like the title. It's so true that today too many young kids are getting wrapped up in very serious relationships that re more damaging than improving to their character and maturation. Alas, I still think it is important to encourage a healthy dating life..even to teenagers. It is often the source of grief and confusion..but it is also the source of MANY lessons learned, practice for the real deal, and learning WHO you are and WHAT you want!...if only dating were easy...if only God handed us a little index card when we entered in to puberty with the name of THE ONE written on it! OH how I could use that index card! :)

Joshie said...

I agree mostly with Liza- and Harris. In our younger years (see teens mostly and early young adulthood) "we" date more for ourselves than for others. We are finding out about ourselves, our likes and dislikes, how to interact with others, gaining confidence in having a relationship, etc... When we are "ready for the real thing" later in life our focus (in a healthy situation) shifts from being more on ourselves to more on the other person. We know ourselves pretty well and are confident in who we are. We are now looking at others not so much to "confirm and learn" as to "give and grow" in a life together. Smattered through all of this is a finality of focus on God- which helps protect and guide us through the whole process.

I like the chapter titles too- too bad about the Protestant-speech...oh well.