Wednesday, March 18, 2009


COME ONE, COME ALL! Welcome to the club ladies.

Men. Whats their deal? I mean, seriously why can't they just act like normal people?
Some say men are from Mars, women are from Venus. I say boys are bad and stupid. In other words- babs. (we drop the second 'a' to allow for pronunciation).

This is a club created in my college days. I'm not sure if I came up with it or not, but I am taking the credit as I have carried on the legacy. Anyone can join as long as you agree to the mission statement and abide by our principles.

Mission Statement: Boys are bad and stupid.

Description: This means ALL males. There are classifications, sure.

babs= your average Joe. He is your all around good guy, but from time to time the bad and/or stupid part shows up.

BABS (note the uppercase)= your average douche. He is the guy who made you or your girlfriend miserable. He is careless, inconsistent, controlling, obnoxious, condescending, mean, cheating, lying, creepy, overly familiar, irresponsible, etc. He is selfish and manipulative. He says he will call but doesn't. He uses and abuses. He flakes out. He makes and breaks promises. He pretends to be what he is not. A BABS boy takes his stress out on a woman, he yells at her, curses at her. He is agist, sexist, racist. He hides behind his religion, his work, his mom, anything! [wiping sweat from forehead]

Well, maybe not all of these things, but one or more and he qualifies for graduation from babs to BABS. You may say- but ALL guys have done these things! To that I respond, welcome to our club, and that qualifies a guy for babs status, but consistancy in these pursuits is what graduates him to BABS. A BABS man is the guy that makes you have that angry, icky feeling all over. You don't want to date him, you don't want any of your friends to date him, and you hope he runs into Lorena Bobbit.

Ok so as you can see this is a club you want to belong to. Who wouldn't? Most but not all of our members are women. We live in many states and countries. We have varied religious and political views. Our common ground is this one belief, that boys are truly and unquestionably bad and stupid.

Please respond if you choose to become a member or renew your membership.

Feel free to share your stories. This is a safe place!

If you disagree with our basic premise, please share your views.

Again, welcome! Stay tuned, next time I will explain the principles to abide by as well as another term: BABAFS


Liza said...

wow thank u for sharing.
Sharing is CARING. I for one would like to renew my lifetime membership to babs!

On a personal note babs has always been there for me... When a guy has mistreated me or one of my friends..When they pull their O-So-Classic DB moves.. "babs"..just sums it all up. Everytime.

Why are there SOOOOO many DBs out there??? THAT is the million dollar question. How is it that there can be SO many wonderful, classy, GORGEOUS women in my life.. yet when it comes time to think of a match for them.. I draw a BLANK!!! The few good ones are currently occupied.. and in general even the lower-case babs are just all together hard to come by. ugh especially here in NYC.. sometimes I think we are the official BABS Capital. We have to IMPORT our men in from other states.

Alas, even the GOOD guys..are lower-case babs. It's just difficult for them NOT to be bad &/or stupid..ever... I mean let's FACE it, they are not women! poor things.

Annie's Heel said...

obviously men know nothing....nor do they have the capasity :)
i agree with liza on the lower case babs. i'll have to read more and see if i have more comments later :)

Urban Mom said...

Whenever I have even the tiniest whine about U-Dad, my sister immediately interrupts me with:

"You give that man whatever he wants, whenever he wants! I am telling you right now that there is *nothing* out here. Quit being such a beeyotch and go give up some action."

It always makes me go shave my legs and ask questions about his day.

But yeah, I talk to other moms, and their husbands are so often unbelievably major DB's. As if getting married and having kids are things that they can check off of the "To Do" list, and as if happiness can be delegated to one person to maintain.

Unsolicited advice: Men will behave only as badly as we allow them. Men know this and pray that all of us don't figure it out at the same time.

Liza said...

omg just happened upon this post - LMAO!!!!!!! love your writing Mia - Get back to it!