Friday, March 27, 2009

I no can has cheezburger

Fridays in Lent. As you probably know, or could easily guess, Friday is MyDAY. I love it. Best day of the work week. No contest. I win. This is 100% true... even... during...LENT.

Ok, so lets review the facts. Friday is the last day of the week for those of us who work M-F. Statistics tell us that only 4% of the week's workload is done on Friday. The mood is more casual. In some offices you lucky ladies [read: i hate you] can even wear DENIM on Fridays. I'm pretty jealous of you. My boss(es) laugh every time I suggest that we should wear jeans on Fridays. Why is that so funny? What I assume: these men have not had proper jeans fitted, they don't want to be seen in their ugly frumpy jeans, and so they make the rest of the office suffer as a result. How rude. And- honestly, I would like to see them in their frumpy jeans, it would give me a hilarious mental image to get me through the following week while anticipating the next Friday!

I digress. Everyone (and by "everyone" I am referring to the general public who enjoy jeans) knows that Friday is the best because there is no work tomorrow!

So, it is Lent. I am Catholic. Why am I Catholic? I ask myself this very question every Lent. I think that is Lent's true purpose- to weed out the slackers so that by Easter there can be a party with true blue die-hards.

Friday in Lent. Quite a conundrum. I mean- it is a Friday and by definition it is therefore THE day. But it is Lent. Jesus died on a Friday. And we can't eat meat.

While my first reaction is to complain and be all "ARGH" about the no meat thing, I have found the higher road. No, I don't mean I have found a way to sacrifice in a holier way, or to "offer it up" willingly out of the goodness of my pure sinless heart. Maybe someday- but I'm just not there yet.

The higher road- ENVIRONMENTALISM. By giving up meat on Fridays in Lent, not only am a a 'good' Catholic, but I am Green! I am practically in PETA! I can look at all the meat-eaters with disdain, judging their every animal-killing, sickening bite!

I don't want a cheeseburger. Who dreams of McDonald's when there are sweet cows dying in the world? How could I even think about eating a ham sandwich after seeing "Charlotte's Web" [You may recognize me from the 1991 Community Theatre performance of the play "Charlotte's Web"... I was townsperson #3 and also baby spider #3]?

So, to all of you meat-eaters out there- you should be ashamed of yourself! And, Happy Friday!

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