Today I am owning it. I am owning the fact that I'm alive. Today it has been 6 months since the most traumatic experience of my life. For those of you who aren't aware, 6 months ago my apartment was broken into at dawn while I was asleep. I'll spare you the details. When it was first happening, I thought I was going to die for sure. I am only 5'1" barely over 100 pounds! What could I do? The answer is clearly prayer. I thought about all that I had left to do with my life, not what I had already done. I thought about the children I wanted to have and the difference I wanted to make in the world. So I called on my Guardian Angel (and actually I truly felt my best friend's angel there with me) for aid. I prayed the Memorare and the prayer to St. Michael. I repeated those prayers over and over throughout the attack. I believe Mary protected my purity herself. I believe I wouldn't be alive if I had not turned to God in my hour(s) of need.
I managed to come out relatively unharmed. I immediately realized what a gift my life was, how much must be planned for me, and how grateful I was to be alive. I realized this while consoling my sobbing mother and while cradling my broken cousin. Everyone I loved came running to be by my side, and they have not left my side since. I am alive for a reason, or more than one :). I am owning my life. I am owning my God. I am owning my future!
I do not lay in bed now and think "Why me!?". I merely thank God for waking me up and making me understand how truly powerful He is. I thank Him for having this happen to me and not to my dear sisters. I hope that no other woman I encounter will go through this, but if they do, that they will turn to me if they need me.
Maya Angelou in her book "Letter to My Daughter" wrote a chapter on Violence.
"We must call the ravening act of rape, the bloody, heart-stopping, breath-snatching, bone-crushing act of violence, which it is. The threat makes some female and male victims unable to open their front doors, unable to venture into streets in which they grew up, unable to trust other human beings and, even themselves. Let us call it a violent unredeemable sexual act."
Somehow or another, my attacker was not able to fully rape me, and I count myself as one in a million with that outcome. Why do I post this? I want you to celebrate with me for my life. It may sound selfish, but I think that you'll understand. I want to also remind you to be safe, to be smart, and to be secure in your house. I am celebrating this milestone by moving into my new condo on Sunday, ready to move on and live again.
I am SHOUTING FROM THE ROOF TOPS!!!!! I AM ALIVE!!! :)