Saturday, October 24, 2009

It's Been a Year

So I cannot believe it. Here I am, the anniversary of the worst day of my life. And today might be one of the best days! I'm in a wedding and before that, my sister is hosting a brunch for me this morning. The brunch started out a lot like this day last year. We'll invite 5 or 6 people for coffee and fruit. Then it turned into more like 20 people. :)

Last year I remember when my sister Audra told me she was on her way. I said "on your way?" and she said "are you KIDDING?" and hung up on me :) Then my mom in the hospital said "I'm going to go call ___ and ___ and ___" and I said "what? why?" and she said "you need their prayers". I paused as she was walking out the door and said "Mom? Go ahead and call ___ and ___ and ___too." She smiled and did it.

I didn't realize that I needed everyone to get through this. I am not good at asking for help (still working on that...) but I didn't even really realize I needed it until everyone stopped what they were doing and came running! My sisters, my nephews, my best friends, my cousins, old friends and neighbors...I received more cards, flowers, cupcakes, balloons, fruit baskets, and cookies than I thought possible. But I needed it all. I told my sister Audra that night "I didn't know that I needed you" and she said "I wish it had been me".

When I was in the hospital I remember moaning to mom that I don't want this, I didn't ask for it, I was doing just fine before this. Well, I was fine, but who wants to just be "fine"? Today I'm happier than I thought possible after such a short year. Everyone helped pull me out of this. I have so much more goodness going on in my life today that I wouldn't pick last year over this year. I'll take a few bad nights of sleep and a few bad memories over a life of living "fine". I guess you could say that I lived life looking through tinted glass, and now I that I truly see, I wouldn't ever go back.

Corina is here this weekend. We just woke up and said "I can't believe it's been a year". We started to reflect on all that has changed. I moved home, then bought a condo. I quit my job and got a new one. She's pregnant. My sister's pregnant. My other sister had a baby and they moved back here. Everything has changed! Everything is BETTER! God takes these horrible situations and turns them into the most beautiful gifts imaginable. I am thankful for all of this.

So, thank you to family, friends, and even strangers who have thought of me this year. Please continue to pray for me as the journey is not (and may not ever be) fully over.

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world"
-John 16:33


Mary T. said...

Been praying for you all day ann! I hope it was a blessed day and a true celebration of the beautiful woman you are! Thank you for your inspiration you share to us all and so many others i am sure!!

Therese said...

Ann- I have thought of your strength many times this year- You we're a victim- but have chosen to be a SURVIVOR! Thank-you for your strength...

Uptown Girl said...

Thank you for sharing with us Ann. Sounds like you are where you need to be- surrounded by so much love and support. Your outlook is so beautiful.

Anna Liesemeyer said...

Ann thank you for being open with us and sharing your victory story. How powerful. Looking forward to the day we can catch up in person over a glass of wine. So proud of you and thanks for reminding me that Suffering strengthens!

Molly said...

Ann I am so proud of you, you are such a woman of strength. I love you and you are in my prayers. Love, Mol