Friday, October 23, 2009

Response to "It's Time"




I’m Alexis. 23. NYC. I finally decided to make my first post with some encouragement from friends of course. Liza's post on "It's Time" really hit me, and I couldn't stay quiet anymore :-). So here I go....

“Women have made it permissible for men to disrespect us. Women have made it OK for men to treat us like men. Women have tried to become like men - denying emotion, heart, dignity, purity etc etc. Somehow in the fight to gain recognition as equals in the work place- we sold our gender short... Way short.” – Liza’s words from It’s Time
Post

That quote I pulled was HUGELY impactful - something EVERYONE can relate to... no matter your beliefs - empowering women to realize it is in OUR control.

We (as women) created this society, and we have to stop BLAMING men....
We trained men to think this, that we want to be treated like men in work, in life, in relationships. We fought so hard to be equal that we lost everything else that is important to us. We lost respect for ourselves.... how can men respect us if we can’t even be clear on our needs and if we don’t even respect ourselves.

What I think the root of the problem is: Us setting unrealistic standards for ourselves and our relationships. Men think we want to do everything ourselves - we don’t need them - so they have NO responsibility anymore, but for themselves… and therefore we are treated that way.

We went so beyond equality. But we DO need men. We can't be everything.

We need to all start setting realistic expectations and change the way society views women’s roles. And we need to decide what those roles are.... or whether we need to have such SET roles.

Men aren't the enemy. We have TOLD them that we are self sufficient and don’t need them. (Assuming they would read into that and KNOW we didn’t mean it literally). But that’s not how it works, and they took it literally, and now here we are YEARS later.

Men and women think completely differently. And so we need to start taking control of ourselves and our actions and realize that. Realize that we can change it back to something more realistic, and we don’t need to be SO head strong and say we don’t need them for anything. Men do need to "feel" needed, as do we... We need to go back to some primal ideas. Remember that men were hunter-gatherers and inherently wanted to protect us? And women were the nurturers....This doesn’t mean we can’t work.... or do anything we ever wanted to do.

We need to realize that LOVE is a choice... and we need to love ourselves first. We need to Own it.





5 comments:

Mary T. said...

Alexis you "own it" girlie! Great post and so many awesome points :)

Therese said...

ALexis- Well said- so well said...

Uptown Girl said...

Woot woot! you better post more often Alexis, bc I can't get enough.
Can I just say how much I love that in this group of women there are so many varying perspectives/lifestyles, etc yet since we all try to own it, we come together. love it.

Anna Liesemeyer said...

Alexis, your spoke my mind girl. We can't blame men for what we created for ourselves. Women have always had the ability to lead men and hold them to a higher standard. Keep posting!

Liza said...

Thanks for sharing Lex! I love hearing everyone's thoughts on the matter - keep it coming!!